I’m getting there…. one sleepless night at a time ♥️

A couple of months ago I decided it was time to decrease my dosage of anti-depressants and start to take back some control of my own. Me being me and wanting to be successful did lots of research before finally cutting fluoxetine out of my days forever. Now when it said disturbed sleep I didn’t think too much but it’s now 5am according to my Fitbit I’ve had a told of 2 hours and 12 minutes sleep over 7 hours. I’m sat with my gorgeous puppy who wasn’t impressed with being woken up trying to figure out how I’m going to get through my day at work without over-doing it on caffeine and decreasing my chances of sleep tonight.
I was put on medication four years ago shortly after I was discharged from the mental health clinic and began to piece my life back together and start a new chapter at university. I was told they were not addictive and coming off them whenever I was ready wouldn’t be too much of an issue…. now that’s where I was gullible and thought that’s lucky as I’d seen people trying to come off forms of anti-depressants in the past and it ain’t pretty. 
It took a while for me to be convinced to even go on them but sometimes you need to accept help and be grown up about something before you can even start to get better so that’s what I did. Now they got me through some really tough times especially at university and I dread to think how I would have got through some of the anxiety and ED spells without it. 

So why now? Well recently I’ve decided to make some life changes and stop myself getting stuck in the same old routine at the age of just 26. I’ve re-joined a gym after the running took a pause from my foot injury, I’ve started to consider new paths in my career for the future and generally started to be more aware of how well I actually look after myself mentally and physically. 

I thought this would be the perfect time to finally come off my meds once and for all….. it’s not pretty. I’m not sleeping, I’m getting headaches everyday, I feel dizzy and my emotions aren’t dealing to well with it either. (For someone who is used to at least 8 hours sleep you can see why). 

BUT it’s only been two weeks and it will probably continue for at least the next month but it’s made me realise I’m stronger than I thought I was, I have lots still to experience in life before I settle and just because I lost a few years to my illness it doesn’t mean I’ve lost the chance to travel more, laugh more and appreciate every single day more. 

♥️

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me at whichever point I’ve been at. And I apologise in advance if I am tired and grumpy if you see me in the next week. I’m getting there! 

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Do what you love, Love what you do!

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My favourite saying ever! I could never go back to a time where I was stuck in a job I hated plodding along just to make a bit of money even though I never had much time off to do anything with it! It is soooo important to every so often take a step back and think about what it is that’s maybe making you feel slightly gloomy or what part of your daily life routine thats starting to drive you a little bit bonkers? 

If there is something on your heart and you want to do it, please, take my advice: DO IT. Chase your dreams, your thoughts, your aspirations. If you want to move across the country, DO IT. If you want to try a new hobby, DO IT. Seriously people. Life is too short to sit back and watch other people live it. Go out and make your mark. Let yourself be known, heard. You don’t want to lay on your death bed filled with regret of the things you didn’t do. 

Somedays I need to remind myself how strong I am and how far i’ve come…

I’ve learnt to never stop until i’m happy, never give up on dreams and always work hard to achieve exactly what YOU want.

Mental Health in the workplace…

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Ever wondered what your fellow colleagues would think if you started to openly discuss your mental health? I have worked with a handful of people in the past who have let me open up to them and vice-versa and it made a huge different to our working lives.

It’s still, unfortunately, a taboo subject and there is a lot of praise for the rise in awareness of mental health in the past few years with more celebrities opening up about their own personal battles. I love this and I love that people can express themselves and their stories whether it’s via social media or in person however, I still believe there is a gap in the awareness campaign and that is missing in the workplace.

Mental illnesses are invisible, they aren’t like the flu or a broken bone, you cannot prove you are visibly ill for day off work or to explain why you aren’t performing to your usual standard etc. Mental health sick days are probably just as important as physical sick days but I don’t know anyone who would be brave enough to admit they’ve taken one. The problem with being honest about mental health in work is knowing whether you can trust the person and if you feel close to them enough to speak about something that you may not have even come to terms with yourself.

Mind & Time To Change are two incredible charities that work hard to support mental health patients around the UK and provide support for patients support networks too (as so many people forget about the support needed for the ill person’s close friends & family!) They are working on providing employers around the country with guidance for advising and supporting colleagues with mental health problems.

If you are reading this and thinking you need to speak to your boss or someone in your professional life about any issues (big or small) you’re dealing with please read the following:

  • Remember you are not alone – one in three have experienced mental health problems while in employment but with the right support many people can balance their health with the demands of a job.
  • It’s your choice – disclosure of mental health issues at work is a personal choice, and you can say as much or as little as you want. If you need more support, being open can help you get it.
  • Request a one-to-one meeting with your manager – Get some private time where you can discuss your mental health, how it relates to your work, and what might help you manage your health so you can perform well.
  • Remember you are the expert on your needs – agree a plan of changes with your manager and a time to meet again to discuss whether things have improved. If you’re not sure what might help, try small experimental steps, and make a note of whether they help or not.
  • Remember that with the right help people experiencing mental health problems can – and do – stay and perform well at work.

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It’s the little things…

 

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Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives that we forget to appreciate the things around us that we DO have and worry more about the things we can’t control. I’m guilty of this too of course yet I like to stop and appreciate how far i’ve come and how lucky I am to be where I am today.

If you have a bed to sleep in at night you’re lucky, even if it’s not the best nights sleep you have, there’s someone out there who doesn’t have a bed, let alone a home.

If you have someone to hold and cuddle, you’re blessed, whether it’s a partner, a family member or a friend, being in the arms of a loved one can fix so many problems even if you don’t realise it. Remember there’s someone out there who might not have someone close around them, treat everyone in your life as a blessing it’s too short not to.

If you have a bad day in work or a bad day in uni it’s not the end of the world, it may not leave you feeling great but tomorrow’s a new day, you have so many chances to make things right and do what makes you happy so don’t let one little bump in the road pull you down. It’s normal, and you can’t go to bed angry with yourself because a bad day is just part of being human.

If you’ve had the chance to eat a meal today like everyday you’re pretty damn lucky too! I wish I could stress how important it is to eat, I Know thats rich coming from me but through everything I would never starve myself again or restrict my eating because I love my body. Your body can’t function without food and every single cell in your body is working for you! So don’t waste their hard work and effort on the buzz you might get from skipping a meal because… spoiler alert…. It really isn’t worth it!!! There’s also millions of people in this world everyday who are living in poverty and don’t have a choice but to live in starvation so if that’s not a reason to appreciate everything you have to put in your belly I don’t know what is! Healthy is always better than Skinny!

If you’ve faced rejection or you’ve been through something that’s made you feel like you’ve been pushed back a few steps think about this; When you look back on your life (especially mine so far!) you will realise that every time you thought you were being rejected from something that you thought was amazing you were actually just being re-directed onto something better!               This is so so true and even if you can’t see it straight away there will be a day when you look back and realise things happened for a reason, even if you don’t know it because in the end you come back stronger and you appreciate everything 100 times more.

If you’re in fear or scared of something it’s important to take a moment to think how it’s impacting your life in a negative way and if it’s really necessary. As humans most of us worry about situations that we actually have very little control over, it’s just our instinct but i’ve learnt to pause when I feel myself getting worked up or anxious over something and think will this unhelpful thought process actually make it better? It works. I’m not saying it removes the worry from my life completely because that would be a miracle but it helps me deal with situations that would have previously damaged my self confidence with a bit more positivity.

If someone you meet gives you the impression that you’re not good enough for them or you in someway don’t feel they respect you like they should think about this… It’s incredibly easy to judge someone, it’s a lot more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes don’t show straight away or aren’t as straight forward as you’d like to expect. If someone doesn’t take the time to get to know you and gives you the impression you aren’t good enough then you don’t want them in your life, they will continue to think like this regardless of their situations whereas you know that the people who stop to get to know you are the ones worth keeping.

and finally my philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am, and I do what I do. I expect nothing, and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier. ❤ Shine on. x

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🌹NEDA Week.

LHW xo

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It’s almost that time of year again, from next week it will be National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Not something that most people will be able to comprehend however, like they promoted the campaign last year with the hashtag #EverybodyKnowsSomebody it’s increasingly becoming a silent illness that’s more common than you’d like to think.

Like most mental illnesses you cannot see the damage that it does to someone’s health, there are different types of ED’s and I think one massive thing that needs to be stressed is someone doesn’t have to look dangerously thin or ‘anorexic’ (I hate the word as a label) to be suffering from an eating disorder of some form. It’s a mental illness, it can take over someone’s mind leading to depression, anxiety, self harm and unfortunately in some cases suicide.

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Time To Change.

LHW xo

I’m quite happy to talk about mental health, it’s not something to be embarrassed about and you never know how much you could help someone just by listening to their problems. The following blog entry isn’t triggering and if anyone wants to speak to me please get in touch.

Time To Change is an anti-stigma campaign run by the mental health charity Mind and Rethink. Their latest campaign is happening on February 5th called ‘Time to Talk Day’ where they’re TTC_TTTDay_Facebook_Post_Option1encouraging everyone to have just a five minute chat about mental health. Having a mental health problem is hard enough, but sometimes the isolation and stigma can make it even worse.  But Time To Change are helping to break the silence and you can too. Talking about mental health doesn’t need to be difficult and can make a big difference.

There are lots of ways you can make your 5 minutes…

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2016

Its been a while since I’ve posted and that’s because life has been crazy busy in a really positive way. I would like to Thank every single person who has made my year so wonderful, professionally and personally it was been an incredible 12 months.

I turned 25 and realized once again being a number doesn’t change who you are and what you do with your life.

One thing I’ve learnt especially this year is time stops for no-one. You have to run with it, everything I’ve worked on this year has got me a step further in the right direction to my future. Sometimes running with it is the best thing you can do, I have loved the projects I’ve been involved with this year and i am forever grateful that my life has ended up where I am.

I graduated at 25 from University of Salford with a First Class Honors Degree in Television and Radio Production. To those who know me well you will know this was something I never thought I could achieve. But three years came to an end and I finished on the highest high. Thank you to everyone who got me through and supported me all the way.  I continued working full time at UTC@MediaCityUK and was promoted in early summer.

In Autumn I began working with Digital Media Marketing and working closely with some of the biggest companies around MediaCityUK to build employer partners and begin some wonderful projects ready for 2017.

There have been numerous times this year that I’ve had to stop and take in how far I’ve got and how much I have to be thankful for. 2016 has taught me I do not give myself enough credit for what I can achieve, sometimes the smallest ounce of self belief can change your day.

And now we are approaching Christmas ever so quickly, Dom is back home with me and i’m reflecting on yet another year that has flown past. People come and go, memories fade but new ones are made. Love and friendships are tested but the strongest and realist ones will never crack. Professional life can be stressful, but it can also be amazing and incredibly rewarding.

Take from life exactly what you put into it.

Work hard, take the blows but get back up again and make your future brighter than you could have ever imagined.

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” – Benjamin Mee

I’ve just found out 2017 is greeting me with a promotion and a pay rise which has come from all my hard work and perseverance. Thank you all for making my 2016 as bright and beautiful as it has been.

Here’s to 2017. x

 

 

 

 

Every body’s different…

I feel that society today lacks body positivity and because of this body image and self confidence in females and males isn’t improving. It’s not something people often speak openly about but it’s so important that people realise every body is different and you have yours and you have to love it!  The Olympics has set off social media in a negative twist of comments on the sizes of some of the athletes, for example I was reading an article about a Mexican gymnast who wasn’t a size 8…. She has muscles she is physically fit and she was bloody amazing at what she did. People are so fast to judge if they see girls or boys on TV who don’t have the ‘perfect’ body and its just ridiculous, if you live life expecting to look like the people you see in the media you will die miserable. Do what makes you happy and live your life your way in your body! 

 
Body positivity is a cure! I went through a stage of thinking that I’m the only person whose recovered from anorexia and gone from a size 6 to a size 8/10 with a bit more shape… When you’ve lived with an eating disorder you truly believe you are fat all the time and you lose all self confidence. The idea of body positivity can be a life saver to more people than you could ever imagine. I went from a girl who wanted to die and was well on the way to ruining my body permenetly. 
Body positivity is something that I struggle massively with now everything else is a lot easier but I can’t get out my head that some days I’m disgusting and I’m fat. However, when body positivity is in front of me and I read something uplifting or I meet someone who shares love for bo-Po that girl who I used to becompletely vanishes and I realise how far I’ve come and how much you need to love the body that you have as it’s the only one you’ll ever get! 

On the bad days you have to fight the thoughts of negativity and push through with the body positivity because let’s be honest the world needs a hell of a lot more of it 💪🏼

I also think that the term ‘REAL WOMAN’ is so ridiculous, why should women be labelled as anything you can be tall and skinny naturally you can be curvy and tall you can be small and curvy who cares? Stop labelling women’s shapes and bringing young girls up to believe they will never be exactly what perfect is when it doesn’t even exist!! 

I think it’s one of the most difficult things to love yourself and then help other people to as well when we live in a society that frowns upon anything that even hints at self love. Sometimes you go out and you’re hit by so much diet culture and fake images that you think body positivity will never ever take over but start by stop telling yourself that you will start your life and be happy once you’ve lost half a stone, a stone, two stone. You’re already living your life you don’t need numbers on a scale to live it. 

When you’ve lived with something like body dysmorphia you constantly believe that once you hit that target weight you will be happy, but your not you always feel like you could do better. It’s a horrible cycle that is awful to be stuck .losing weight to try and achieve the perfect body will not make you happy, please just do whatever makes you happy and enjoy your life how you want to live it. Exercise for fun and eat healthy food that you actually enjoy! 

Body positivity for life 💪🏼❤️

Things to remember when you’re having a bad day…

I’m having such a bad day, it’s grim I can’t put my finger on it but I just feel fed up. So I googled “I’m having a bad day” and after reading a couple of articles I remembered it’s perfectly okay to feel rubbish and it’s only temporary.

My favourite things to remember are;

  • No one ever promised you that life would be perfect.

You can try as hard as you like but not everyday is going to be sunshine and rainbows, you shouldn’t condition your happiness on meeting every expectation you set for yourself. It is great to be ambitious and it’s a wonderful quality to have but punishing yourself when you don’t feel perfect isn’t the way to go.

  • There is a huge life lesson in every single struggle that you face.

Complaining about your life will get you no where! There’s nothing worse than being around someone who constantly complains when they actually should be grateful for the wonderful things they have. If you find the lesson in every struggle you will succeed and you will be able to make positive changes to your life that may even prevent you from facing those struggles ever again.

  • Without the bad days you wouldn’t appreciate the good ones!

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” Every time something bad happens in your life you grow and you move on, bad days can remind you of anything and it’s important to focus on the good that came from those days and the strength you have as a person to overcome them. Stay positive in life and your goals will be reachable and you will pursue further in the future.

  • Worrying gets you nowhere.

It’s completely normal to worry about things, it is human nature to stress over things we face in life but it’s not okay to let it take control of us. Worrying too much is a common problem but it has the ability to ruin your day and consequently doesn’t make the situation any better just worse. Worrying about something will not fix your problems!

  • Nobodies life is as wonderful and glamorous as you may think.

Oh the power of social media! Just because someone posts photos on insta everyday of their wonderful life with their huge house and fancy car, it doesn’t mean they’re happy.Facebook can be very misleading, don’t believe everything you see. Interact with your friends and embrace having the easy contact to friends who may not live near you anymore but don’t let it rule your life, there’s a whole world around you not on your screen.

  • You deserve to be loved and you deserve happiness.

It may not be in the stereotypical form it may not that you go home to your partner every night or your happily married, it can be little things like going home to your dog who makes you feel so welcome in your own home, it can be the phone call home or the coffee with a friend. It’s the little things you take for granted, being able to read and see the world around you with your clear vision, or the ability to lose yourself in books that help you switch off from everything.

  • It’s okay to have a bad day!!

So important to remember that a bad day doesn’t make you a bad person! everyone has them, it’s happened before and it’ll happen again.

It’s about breaking that trend and thinking about everything you have that makes you happy. if you’re upset stop and just take in the world you have, remember the good memories and think about the great memories you are yet to make. Life doesn’t stop for anyone, a bad day isn’t a bad life it’s just a wasted use of emotions. Just because you’re having a bad day, doesn’t mean you’re having a bad life. Just because you feel lost or stuck every now and then, doesn’t mean that you are. And just because you feel lonely or sad, doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of love and belonging. Look beyond your fears, self-doubt and negative feelings and open your heart and mind to new possibilities and experiences.

 

 

 

 

Self Care…. in my opinion.

LHW xo

I am guilty as i’m sure most other people are for turning to other people around you when you don’t know how to get yourself through a bad day, or a difficult time in your life. But sometimes you don’t always have that one person straight away and sometimes you feel like a burden for putting your problems on someone else.

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Here’s a few steps to self-care that i’d like to think will help people’s mindsets during those bad days. (I know I certainly need to listen to myself more!!)

❤ No matter what you believe there are people who care about you and you aren’t alone, even if the people who care aren’t within touching distance of you. People care.

❤ Invest in yourself. Surround yourself with mentors and people you can learn with. Being around negative mindsets will never help you get further.

❤  Trust your instincts.

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